Self love is the only love - Creation.begins

Self love is the only love

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Self love is the only love8 min read

Throughout history, love has been attributed to various external factors, such as spiritual connections, romantic relationships, and deep friendships. While these bonds undoubtedly contribute to our understanding and experience of love, at its core, love is rooted in our connection to ourselves and our vision of a perfect life.

When we feel love, we are essentially tuning into our innermost desires, aspirations, and values. This intrinsic connection to our ideal selves and the life we wish to lead serves as a guiding force, pointing us in the direction of what we truly cherish and appreciate. Whether it’s the perfect partner, career, relationships, or lifestyle, love illuminates the path toward our personal definition of perfection.

In essence, Love is our internal compass, always pointing towards what we subjectively consider perfect.

A black and green compass pointing to west, resting in a human's open hand

photo by Aron Visuals

The Perception of Perfection

Whatever we want in our lives, we love. We fall in love with people who we wish to share our time and space with. We love the foods that satisfy not just our hunger but tantalise our senses, drawing us back again and again. We love the things and the places and the people that align with our heart song. And we hate everything that doesn’t.

Our heart song, the voice of our soul, our core desires, this is what calls out to us every moment of every day. Some of us listen and fewer of us heed the call and even fewer of us follow through. The sheer tiny number of people who choose to feel love over everything else is ridiculous considering love is what every single human in existence craves to experience. Love is our guiding light, but most people have been misled and brainwashed into fearing love instead of embracing it.

As we foster a stronger connection to love, our perception of the world around us becomes imbued with a sense of perfection. The better our connection to love, the more secure we will feel, the happier we are, the more empowered and emboldened our attitude.  It stands to reason that love is our energetic connection to perfection, and when we are connected to perfection, whatever we shine our love on seems perfect to us.

Love serves as an energetic conduit, enabling us to perceive and appreciate the beauty, value, and uniqueness in all aspects of life. The perfect partner, the perfect career, the perfect relationships, the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle, the perfect connection to the life around us, anything that feels perfect to us is something that we feel love around. Through the eyes of love, everything seems perfect.

Love is subjective, just as perception is subjective. What I perceive and how I perceive a thing is unique to me, dependant on my natural way of looking at the world, who I am at my core, my experience so far with the world, what I’ve learned and who I’ve become. What you perceive and how you perceive a thing is unique to you, and dependant on all those factors in your life that make you uniquely you. As a result, what and who you love is never going to be identical to what I nor anyone else loves.

What you consider perfect is perfect for you and not necessarily anyone else. In practice, as we move more towards the situations and circumstances that we love, we will meet and engage with other people who are also loving a lot of what we love, and while we all have our own ideas of what an ideal life is, there is enough overlap of ideas for a community of loving people to form.

And we find more and more of our outer world to love, because the more we experience love, the more we want to experience love. As we shine the light of love on our experiences, we begin to recognize and embrace the perfection inherent in each moment. Every moment that came before and every moment will come after, but most of all we begin to really enjoy the satisfying love available right here, right now, in this moment.

Woman blissfully floating in natural water

photo by Jernej Graj

Cultivating a Connection

What we call love is the feeling of a clear connection to our best experience. If we were to think of ourselves as on a constant never-ending journey, always moving forwards towards a more perfect life, the feeling of pure love would be what we felt if we were fully on that path, free, unfettered, unchallenged, hurtling along on our increasingly perfect lives.

Of course, life isn’t as easy as that, nor do we want it to be. We enjoy the challenge of figuring things out. Having an understanding of how love works helps us solve those challenges  quicker and in a more rewarding way. Part of life has been to figure out how to know when we are on track and when we aren’t. It turns out that being on track is as simple as remaining in a love state. Being in a love state, however, is not all that simple.

To deepen our connection to love, it is essential to prioritize self-awareness and personal growth. By actively engaging in activities that nourish our mind, body, and spirit, we create a solid foundation upon which our capacity to love can flourish. This process may involve practicing mindfulness, engaging in creative pursuits, fostering meaningful connections with others, and embracing the joy and fulfilment that comes with living an authentic life.

The crux of this practice is to quieten the mind (or at least stop giving our thoughts constant attention) and focus our energy into the present moment, where all of our power and potential lies. We cannot change our past and the only influence we have of the future is what we’re doing right now in the present. If we decided to only choose loving actions now, our futures cannot but be filled with loving scenarios.

Freedom over Neediness

The confusion is that we need to be loved by someone else. Because love is an internal emotion felt uniquely by us, it is impossible to force anyone to feel more love than they are already feeling. We can certainly influence them by doing the things that they love and being the people that they love, but of course nobody can be an exact match to what anyone else considers perfect. And we cannot need someone else to be our version of perfect either.

Part of clearing our connection to love is releasing the need for love. This may seem counterintuitive but if you would imagine your connection to love as a flowing river. When you hold onto the need for love, it’s like placing large rocks in the river, creating obstructions and causing the water to flow less freely. These rocks represent the expectations, desires, and fears that we attach to the idea of love, but these rocks have nothing to do with love. These challenges are only associated with love because we didn’t understand that people are free to be and do whatever they want, independent of us. Just as we are free to be and do whatever we are comfortable with, independent of anyone else.

As you work on releasing the need for love, you are gradually removing the rocks from the river. With fewer obstructions, the water can flow more smoothly and effortlessly, just like your personal connection to love. The act of releasing your need for love does not diminish the presence of love in your life but rather allows it to flow more naturally.

The feeling of love is leading us to our personal idea of perfection. This doesn’t mean that any of the people we have loved along the way are also being led to the same idea of perfection. We all have our own individual idylls to live up to, but it is worth knowing that committing to your personal idylls will pull you into the orbits of others who are also committed to their personal idylls, and you will find that even our personal paths are still very abundant with other people. We will never be doing any of this alone, even though being prepared to do it alone is part of the breakthrough.

This changes our approach to life in a way that most people aren’t ready to understand. By taking everyone and everything else out of the equation, you’re creating a better environment for love to flow freely and abundantly in your life. And, in doing so, you will inspire others who observe you to create better environments for love to flow more freely and abundantly in their own lives. And, yeah, not everyone is going to come along immediately. Some will join you in love later. Some might not. And you’ve got to be okay either way. Not being okay, not making peace, not letting go of unsupportive ideas of love, anything that takes you out of love also takes you away from the path of perfection, of happiness, of bliss, of the life you most prefer, and it’s up to you to manage that for yourself.

As we navigate the complex and ever-changing landscape of life, it is essential to remember that love is not merely an external force dependent on circumstances or relationships. At its core, love is an intimate connection to ourselves and our ideal vision of life. By nurturing this connection and allowing love to permeate our perception, we can experience the world through a lens of beauty, perfection, and limitless potential.

A brown wooden sign post in a meadow pointing right with a walking man and arrow etched on.

photo by Nick Page

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Self love is the only love
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